I have so much love to give. All the love in the world that I give to whom i wanna give my heart to. My family, my lovely one, my best friends, my friend, and the others. I've been trying to be a good and nice person for everyone. And I love being care to those people, especially those who I love most. I always try to give my hand whenever they need my help. Always try to give my arms to hold on. Always try to spare my times not only for hanging out but also for listening them whenever they need someone to talk to. Yes, I'm trying to be their best.
I am so glad that finally, from what I've done, I got good result. In my life, I met so many people and made friendship with them. Furthermore, I found that some of them are really good friends to me. But, sadly, in the other hand, some of them had another feeling to me. Not one, but two. And it made me confuse, should i happy or sad of it. They seem miss interpreted of what I've been doing and caring about. I guess they took it as something special. But actually it's so common for me coz I do it also to so many people. Not only to them.
In our friendship, after this "accident" I guess everything wouldn't be same again than before. It's not like we were yesterday. But, I've been trying to be wise. I don't wanna blame their feeling. Being in love is human. For me, being in love to someone who has had a relationship is not a mistake as We could never chose with whom we would fall in love. The matter is how they deal with it. I don't say they right, or wrong. I only make sense to what they think and feel :)
Then, I try hard to get myself talk and care to them in common. A lit' bit less than before cos I really don't want them to make a hope or dream in their heart bout me. And you know, it's not easy to be like this. Then I clarify to everyone, especially to them, that I'm already in a relationship and never want to have an affair with anyone, include my best friend even when a have a terrible problem with my lovely one, but now it's getting better, oh God, bunch of thanks. I know I love them, do care about them, but I do it as a friend, no more. But don't ask me what I've done for that, it's too long to tell. I did it in the way may only me know. :)
The other hard thing to do is not tell about it to my lovely one. I still don't find the right time for it, and of course the bigger problem is I still don't know how tell him, I still don't know where to start. It wouldn't be difficult if the "artist" is someone who means nothing to me. But, hey.. it's about my best friends. I could never imagine how his response would be. Angry, sad, feel being betrayaled or something else. I really really couldn't imagine. I still don't know what will I do then if he makes some prohibitions for me to deal with this. To prevent having some thing dangerous with one of them, or both of them. Yeah, it's gonna be the end of the world for me, maybe.
Hmmm... I know it's not gonna be easy for all of us, but hopefully we'll all follow through. The only thing I could do is doing my best. Natasha Beddingfield said "Here the book begins, the rest is still unwritten".
PS. For all people who gave so much love for me. Bunch of thanks.
PS. For all people who gave so much love for me. Bunch of thanks.
Love
NaaNaa
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